god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
