I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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