im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
