once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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