i need an iv and a liver transplant
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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