she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
