Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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