he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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