I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
