is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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