I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
