Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
