yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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