What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
two words...techno handjob
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize