Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
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