I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
what is it with giant penises always finding me
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
