I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Randomize
