If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
