Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
