I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
