dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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