Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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