So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
