I'm lost and stupid without you.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
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