Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
