He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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