she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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