Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
