just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
