when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
