Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
