There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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