Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize