Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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