i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
