had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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