I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Randomize
