One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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