so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
