ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
