Already got asked if we're dating
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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