i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
