my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
