The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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