I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Do vagina's smell?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
