All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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