Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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