He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize