is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
