I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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