My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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