I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
