Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
