What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Two words: nipple clamps
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