instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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