i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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