In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
