i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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