I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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