i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
now i know why i became what i already was.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
