You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
