He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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